Happy Men’s Health Awareness Month, bro.
“Eh, kejap. Apa benda tu? Is that even a thing?” some of you might ask. Well, since 1992, the month of June has been designated as the period when the global medical community highlights countless fundamental issues related to men’s overall well-being and how to address them. Symbolised by a blue ribbon, raising awareness is basically the main goal of this initiative. If you wonder, “Wait, what about Movember?” well, it’s kinda the same but maybe we’ll explore that next time. Banyak lagi benda yang nak disembangkan dekat sini.
Anyway, if you’ve been a loyal follower of Healthlah, we recently discussed men’s life expectancy and fertility to commemorate this month’s celebration. Feel free to check them out, alright?
Now, let’s turn our focus to another major concern when talking about a male’s well-being: mental health. For the longest time, it’s considered a taboo to talk among men. The notion of hiding vulnerable emotions and portraying masculinity instead is something both little boys and grown-up men are expected to do as if there’s some kind of social contract they must abide by. Mesti dah selalu sangat dengar, kan?
Thankfully, things have changed over the past few years. More and more people are advocating against toxic masculinity which involves encouraging men to talk about their mental state as well. So, in the spirit of that, allow me to share my personal experience dealing with a mental health issue recently.
So, buckle up and just take a closer look at my story – the story of when I got diagnosed with severe anxiety.
How It All Began
Remember the never-ending lockdown due to COVID-19? Yeah, I know. No one wants to reminisce those moments, but that was when my anxiety started to kick in. You see, during that time, all of us were confined within our respective residences except for a weekly visit to the grocery store. At first, it didn’t bother me that much because all I felt was boredom since I couldn’t travel beyond my hometown.
However, as the number of daily cases passed four figures by the end of October 2020, I started to feel paranoid, especially since I was the one who ran errands for my family. Banyak overwhelming thoughts conquered my mind. Am I bringing the virus home? Will my family members get infected? Are they going to die? Am I going to die? Every time I felt something wrong with my body (atau tak sedap badan), I would immediately take some paracetamol (NOTE: please don’t normalise this, people).
To make things worse, I was jobless at that time even though I had graduated from college for more than a year. Aside from worrying about my well-being, I had to think about my future too. I already self-published a zine which sounds cool (I think) and I proofread students’ assignments as a freelancer, but I needed a sustainable and fixed income. I still couldn’t help my family pay the bills or buy dinner without the need to check my bank account. My daily chores were simply washing and hanging clothes (I still do that now, BTW). Enter the sense of uselessness. ‘Bagus’ sangat. As if paranoia wasn’t enough, I also felt a bit like a loser because of the circumstance.
The situation reached its breaking point in early December 2020, when one day, I experienced excruciating pain all over my abdomen. After making my way to the nearest ER, the doctor who treated me discovered the presence of a small stone in my right kidney. It was like the end of the world for me. Why? Because my late father had something similar 20 years ago which, in the end, started the eventual deterioration of his health. It was the moment I felt totally scared, thinking I could end up suffering like him.
For the next few weeks, I barely had enough sleep because I would stay awake until 2 or 3 in the morning. I mean, can you really close your eyes when all you can think of is how you might be dead anytime soon (like your deceased patriarch), right? That was when I realised I suffered from several episodes of panic attacks. My heart was racing, I ran out of breath multiple times, I sweat a lot. Yup, I was a total mess/wreck.
My Immediate Action
Knowing there was nothing my family members could do to help, I decided to set a doctor’s appointment at a nearby public health clinic (you know, the one under KKM). Prior to that, I did a brief evaluation online — DASS (Depression Anxiety Stress Scales) — which unsurprisingly showed worrying results. Throughout the consultation session, the doctor in charge asked me several questions to ensure I received the right diagnosis. And there you have it: I was diagnosed with severe anxiety.
It was such a fortune, though, because I wasn’t required to depend on any kind of medication to keep myself under control. Instead, I only had to attend a series of counselling sessions once a month at the same clinic.
So, apa jadi lepastu?
It’s Counselling Time
During my first scheduled appointment, the counsellor assigned to my case introduced herself as a certified professional under the country’s Board of Counsellors, and she explained that her duties are subject to the Counsellor Act 1998, which emphasises the sacred confidentiality between both of us. Haruslah, kan? I mean, I was gonna share my personal distress with a stranger, so it kinda made sense for her to mention that.
Anyway, she also told me that she would be busy throughout the day managing cases similar to mine. “The pandemic may have caused this situation to take place,” she claimed, echoing the sentiment portrayed in many news outlets at the time.
Okay, enough with the mukadimah. It was the moment to address the elephant in the room.
She requested me to spell out what brought me here in the consultation chamber, and that’s exactly what I did. After that, she asked me about my personal interests to help me open up a bit more. As soon as I did that, she noticed just how enthusiastic I was when talking about my hobbies and favourite TV shows, among others. She used that as an example of how I could feel better by focusing on the fun part of my inner self. Then, she brought my attention to the concept of mindfulness that can be applied every time I stumble into mental distress. This includes a bunch of meditation-like exercises which we would explore in future sessions.
The next few appointments were filled with so many interesting contents and activities. Salah satunya was she taught me the 4-7-8 breathing method to help me keep my anxiety under control and I learned the existence of grounding techniques, which are aimed at achieving a similar result through on-the-spot observation. Not only that, she gave me a bit of homework where I had to find out more about Ikigai, a Japanese philosophy associated with anything that provides someone with a motivation to live or a sense of purpose. I consider this perspective quite powerful, especially for those who are battling with low self-esteem or feeling worthless.
After several months of going through those consultations, I felt a lot better, and most importantly, my mental health is now in a much better state. Thanks to all the new knowledge I acquired, I’ve become more well-prepared to handle panic attacks. Tapi yang paling penting, this experience taught me to live in the present and not overthink the uncertain future. Of course, it’s kinda impossible to totally get rid of paranoia and anxiety, but at least I know how to confront them.
So, What’s the Moral of the Story?
Going to the counsellor might be something foreign to both the Asian community and the male population. But as someone with a bit of experience, I can tell you this: once you’ve mustered enough strength and bravery to take the first step, everything else will become much easier to manage afterward. There’s no need to feel ashamed because, to reiterate my counsellor’s remark, “a lot of people nowadays are open to the idea of seeking mental health treatment.” You might end up looking forward to every session because it serves as a safe space for you to share almost everything in your mind. Your personal well-being – inside and out – should always be your utmost priority. Don’t forget about that, alright?
As I mentioned earlier, the meetings with my counsellor were set at a public clinic. This means if you ever contemplate seeking professional counselling assistance, you can do that for just RM 1 per visit. Berbaloi, kan? (Long live our universal healthcare system!) All you need to do is to register yourself at the main counter and specifically mention that you wish to undergo mental health evaluation. The officer in charge will take care of the rest; follow their instructions and you’re good to go. See? Manalah nak dapat harga semurah ini, ha? I just couldn’t imagine how much I would need to spend on a private therapist. This alone should be the main reason why you may want to consider reaching out to a public counsellor.
There you have it! Phew! What a journey it has been.
Well, I hope this personal anecdote of mine could inspire many of you gentlemen out there to finally be more accepting of the need to discuss your mental health. Nope, it won’t make you less macho at all, so don’t worry about that. In the end, it doesn’t matter if some close-minded individuals regard you as less of a man because all you wanna be is more human. Your mental health jauh lagi penting dari opinions orang lain, and the people who love you will agree.
Remember, you’ll know how strong you are when you’re at your weakest.
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Disclaimer: Our content is strictly for educational and informational purposes only. Healthlah.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
