“Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”
Selalunya kita dengar the ladies who are nervous and burying themselves in research to prepare themselves to swim through uncharted waters. But what about the guys?
Sebenarnya kan lelaki pun go through the changes bila dapat tahu they’re going to be a dad, albeit differently. So yes, we do feel nervous, anxious, excited and scared! And just like the ladies, kita pun nak juga prepare ourselves to be the best father to our children.
But before we do get to hold that bundle of joy in our arms and shower it with affection, there’s someone who needs our love, support and attention more: our wife, girlfriend or partner. They may not say it, or even show it. But for the next 9 months, they’re going to need us to be their best cheerleader!
We know: “Nak support macam mana? Kita tak faham apa dia go through.” Well, that is true. So, to help rectify the reality, here’s a brief summary of what our ladies go through in each trimester… and some pointers on how we can help them.
First Trimester (Week 1 to Week 12)
The mother is expected to undergo a few simple evaluations to evaluate her current health condition. There will be tests done to know her hemoglobin levels, her glucose level, as well as physical health evaluation and going through her family’s medical history. The mother will also have an ultrasound scheduled in the first trimester — exciting!
All of this information is important because it will facilitate the doctors to ensure the mother has a safe and healthy pregnancy. For some women, these tests and evaluations can be quite daunting for them. So bro, kena ingat to be supportive by offering her words of affirmation, tolong dia prepare checklist sebelum jumpa doctor ataupun tolong dia prepare documents yang nak kena bawa ke clinic or hospital.
Some common side effects: Fatigue, mood swings, nausea, allergies or aversions
Kalau tak ada sesiapa pernah bagitahu, the first trimester is always the toughest for a lot of women. Like it or not, the mother has to endure the unpleasant discomforts that come along from being pregnant. Some of the most common side effects are morning sickness, nausea and a strong aversion for certain food or smell. Jangan risau sebab it’s all pretty normal. Now, you may not be able to trade places with her, but you can still help.
You can help by showing compassion such as asking her how she is, what she needs, or simply by listening — dengar je, jangan offer solutions because sometimes, they just need someone to listen and validate their emotions or struggles. Another way is by helping her to stay hydrated, such as refilling her water bottle whenever it’s empty. If she has any cravings, try your best to entertain them and try to hide (or store) any food (or smell) that makes her nauseous.
Food intake: Folic acid, calcium, iron, vitamin (B12 and C)
Speaking of food, chances are the doctors will prescribe the mother with vitamins or supplements to keep both the mother and the baby healthy. So help her by keeping track of her vitamin and supplement intake, remind her to drink lots of water… and maybe keep some of her favourite snacks stored to keep her nourished.
Physical activities: Walking, swimming, static biking, yoga, pilates
Depending on the mother’s condition, exercises are important to reduce the possibility of a C-section. It also helps in reducing backaches, constipation, bloating and even swelling. But sometimes, the mother needs a boost of motivation and what better way to help her then do be her workout buddy. So yes, put on your sweatpants and shake those muscles! Tapi ingat, don’t let the mother exert herself and always consult with her gynaecologist before proceeding with any workout regime.
Second Trimester (Week 13 to Week 24)
So during this stage, the gyneacologist might check if the baby shows any signs of developing spina bifida, or down syndrome. The mother will still continue to have her blood, urine, and blood pressure checked. She’ll also undergo routine ultrasounds to monitor the baby’s development and heartbeat.
Similar with the first trimester, just continue showing her compassion, kindness and support. As the baby grows, so will her emotions. So be prepared for an increase in mood swings. Don’t take it personally, bro sebab benda ni memang sangat common. The good thing is, you can help her sail through those mood swings without any backlash. One of the ways that you can help is to offer a listening ear, or to ask: “How can I help?” Selain tu, you can encourage her to get more rest, meditate with her, or pick up after her with the house chores. If that doesn’t work, then just remind her that you love her, and how beautiful she is.
Some common side effects: Stretch marks, muscle aches
Time ni maybe baby bump dah start nampak. So both you and the mother will notice a few significant physical changes all over her body, especially the parts that are heavily impacted by the strain of carrying the baby. If the mother is experiencing muscles aches (or any kind of aches or pains), then you can help by offering a massage or two. Another tip is to help keep her hydrated, up her magnesium intake and to do some light stretching. Now, if she’s concerned about stretch mark, then you can start by helping her research on the best moisturisers or oils to reduce the appearance of stretch marks. Dan kalau you’re feeling rajin, boleh lah cuba offer untuk tolong sapu moisturizer or oil at stretch mark-prone areas.
Food intake: Magnesium, vitamin D, omega-3 fatty acids
Ada kemungkinan that the mother is able to enjoy more food compared to the first trimester. Yes, mungkin nausea and food aversions dah kurang. Be that as it may, as the baby grows, he/she will need more nutrients to support his/her growth and development. So, let’s help the mother by ensuring she is getting as much nutrients for the baby as possible. Speaking of gender, ye betul! Kita boleh find out the gender of the baby as early as week 18! Apa kata kita make it special by planning a surprise for the mother, or ask her if she wants to host a gender reveal party, or maybe just give her a bouquet of her favourite flower.
Physical activities: Seated rows, pelvic-floor exercises
Continuing to do exercises that helps strengthen the mother’s back is great! Tapi it’s better to ensure she doesn’t put too much strain on her back. Maybe try focusing more on pelvic-floor exercises, stretches or physical activities that helps her to improve her balance and posture. Oh, there’s such a thing as prenatal massages, which are great at reducing stress hormones, relieving aches and cramps, as well as improving sleep. Tak salah kalau nak surprise her with a massage trip, hehe.
Third Trimester (Week 25 to Week 36+)
Due date makin dekat dah ni.
Other than continuing to monitor the baby’s growth and development, the gyneacologist will monitor the level of amniotic fluid nak make sure dia cukup. They will also progressively check the baby’s position — whether they’re in a normal position, or breech — as well as the position of the placenta. Since due date makin dekat, it’s important to have the hospital bag ready.
So, help the mother sort everything out and pack! But above all, be sure to make her feel comfortable, beautiful and loved. Undoubtedly, she’ll feel anxious and scared. Tapi kita kena lah tolong reduce her anxiety. And how can we help her be more prepared for the labour room? Kita boleh watch delivery videos with her, kita boleh belajar the proper breathing techniques to guide her when pushing, dan yang paling penting, kita kena be supportive and gentle throughout the process.
Some common side effects: Contraction, swollen parts
Waktu ni the mother will experience more discomfort, more swelling and bloating. Sleeping will become a displeasure, everything feels hot, she’ll make more frequent trips to the bathroom, she’ll start experiencing braxton-hicks, and many more. Meanwhile, her breasts will become more sensitive as it prepares to lactate.
Now, because you guys are almost through the finish line, it’s crucial to be mindful of the signs and symptoms of labour. So men, pay attention and be alert! While braxton-hicks are called practice contractions, it’s not an excuse for you to sleep on them. Always monitor their frequency and severity — in fact it’s helpful to have an app installed on your phone. Tapi yang paling penting is to make sure to have a game plan ready when it’s go time! Kena sedia kan back up plan juga tau kot kot the mother goes into labour when you’re at work ke apa apa.
Food intake: Iron, omega-3 fatty acids
Chances are the mother hasn’t had much appetite. Unless she’s showing significant weight loss, there’s no need to be concerned. Biasalah, dah anak tu makin besar, jadi ruang untuk makan pun makin kecil. But it’s still important that she gets all the right nutrients, enough vitamins and hydration to ensure both she and the baby are progressing healthily. So kalau dia tak lalu nak makan, just remind her to eat in smaller portions but frequent.
Physical activities: Foam rolling, stretching, prenatal yoga
It’s pretty clear kan that by now, the mother shouldn’t be doing any heavy exercises or exert herself too much. Instead, encourage her to engage herself in light and casual routines to reduce the discomforts and aches. She can continue to focus on pelvic floor exercises to help her prepare for labour as well as some squats. Ye, squats. Rest assured, squats are excellent to get her pelvic muscles ready for delivery later. She’ll definitely tire easily — more than before. So when she does, remember to tell her to take breaks. While you’re at it, assure her that it’s totally fine if she can only manage 5 minutes today, 15 minutes yesterday, or 30 minutes tomorrow.
What’s important is she doesn’t remain sedentary… unless she’s on strict bed rest.
Baiklah, itu semua yang kita boleh share buat masa ini. We sincerely hope that this guide will be helpful to all fathers-to-be in supporting the mother of their child. We don’t doubt that you’re going to be an amazing father, just as she will be an amazing mum.
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Disclaimer: Our content is strictly for educational and informational purposes only. Healthlah.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
